Do you remember back to primary school when you'd choose teams for sport and you'd just wait in the main group waiting to be chosen by one of the "team captains"? Or when you had to pick partners in class and you always seemed to either be the only one left without a partner and so had to partner with the teacher?
Well, sorry to say, but you're not in primary school anymore and it's not a matter of waiting for someone to choose you.
This is especially true and important during those times when it feels like no one is choosing you - you have to choose yourself!
There are going to be countless times throughout your life when you are going to be in situations where other people (usually strangers) are going to tell you whether you are enough or whether they consider you "good enough". This is most commonly seen in job applications. You make an application and then you get informed whether you are going to progress through to the next stage of the recruitment process or not. Sometimes you may not even be told, you may just find out that you have not progressed because you have not heard anything from the organisation to which you applied.
In this situations, it can be heartbreaking to be "rejected" by people who don't even know you and it can feel very personal and really hurt your sense of self.
Other times you can be informed of the good news that you have been successful and this can be a great confidence boost for you.
The important thing to remember is that when you are putting yourself in a position where you are waiting for someone else to choose you, you are giving your power away.
But there is hope - you can get your power back.
It's as simple as taking active steps and putting yourself at the centre of your decisions.
I mean, would you choose to go to a horror movie if you really didn't like them just to keep others happy? If yes, then you're not putting yourself at the centre of your decisions.
Do you see what I mean? Let's try again.
What if you really wanted to put your hand up to undertake a cool project at work because it's your area of interest and you don't want to miss out on an incredible opportunity to undertake a project in this area of work as it's where you want to specialise?
THAT is putting yourself at the centre of decisions.
But putting yourself at the centre of your decisions doesn't just mean in a work setting or a stressful setting. It can be as simple as booking yourself a seat on your couch, in your pjs with your fave hot beverage and watching your favourite rom-com.
See, it doesn't have to be scary gf!
Here are 5 simple ways to start choosing yourself today:
- Take yourself out for a breakfast date
- Plan a night in on the couch watching your favourite movie
- Take yourself out on a self-date
- Say "no" to something you really don't want to do (without feeling guilty)
- Schedule time in your week to just have "you time" - you don’t have to plan what it's going to look like just schedule the time in for you.
Where in your life do you need to start choosing yourself? (e.g. career, family, relationships, friendships, etc.)
Where are you stopping yourself from achieving what you want because you are NOT choosing yourself? (e.g. fear)
Journaling Exercise:
- Write down what choosing yourself would look like to you.
- Next, write down what is stopping you from doing that?
- Is it something within your control? If it is, how can you change it?
- If it's not, is there anything you can do about it? If not, why are you letting it have so much control over you?
- Now, I want you to write down one step you can take today to move closer to choosing yourself, and then go do that thing!
You've got this gf, I believe in you!
I'd absolutely LOVE to get a list going so that we can help our fellow sisters to feel supported in their journeys to showing up for themselves. Let's keep each other accountable by sharing one area of your life that you are going to start choosing yourself.
Keep showing up for yourself gorgeous!
J xx